rockabye
by mirajens
Summary: single parent aus. maybe a lot of it. (chapter 8: mirajane)
1. lucky charms and nuts (laxus)

**note:** Lord jesus, forgive me for using Lucy as Laxus' toddler daughter instead of making an OC. I'm not built that strong. I'm not built that creative. I'm gonna be THAT bitch who uses preexisting characters and downsizing them into babies for the main characters.

Anywaaaaaay. Welcome to a collection of oneshots about fairy tail characters being single parents. I say fairy tail characters despite all my existing wips for this collection being miraxus so far because I do have hopes and hcs for other characters. A very novel rule for reading this is to fuck off if you don't like shit like this. I know some people just give themselves ulcers forcing themselves to consume fanfiction they don't agree with but come on buddy there are a million different things you could be doing than reading my self-indulgent fanfiction. So go out there and be great. Your mother didn't go through labor to birth some basement goblin cawing about bad fanfiction.

* * *

 **lucky charms and nuts**

 _._

 _._

 _I can't do this anymore._

It's a thought that crosses Laxus' mind at least twenty times a day and it gives him no shame to admit it. It's as intrusive a thought as it is an honest sentiment and as a single father, he can say it all he wants. So many times he'd dreamt of leaving Lucy on a church's doorstep and hopping five cities south but it doesn't mean he loves her any less than he does. It's his philosophy that a child is meant to drive their parents or guardians up the wall. Up every fucking wall, actually.

He thinks about the church thing again as his daughter's wails go up a decibel.

Feeling as hopeless as every other parent faced with a public tantrum, Laxus leans against the handle of his shopping cart, watching his little girl bawl and bawl and rub her bunched fists against her leaking eyes. Briefly, he wonders how _anyone_ ever finds this small demon cute when she was capable of all this toddler brand of evil.

"Look, Lucy, it's just cereal. You're not eating that much sugar in my house, okay? I can barely get you to sleep by bedtime as it is," He tells her in a tired voice. When she only sobs louder, Laxus sighs and adds, "I promise this tastes as good."

Not to be distracted from her fixation on Lucky Charms, Lucy continues to lament her breakfast of choice. "I want this one! You're _mean_!"

If there was one thing Laxus learned and retained from his own father's parenting, it was to never indulge a child to placate a tantrum. "Tough luck, kid." He tosses the box of Corn Flakes into the shopping cart. "My roof."

Like clockwork, the small face of his daughter scrunches up and turns an almost alarming shade of red. Her screams are back, which attract many inquisitive head turns from passersby. He can feel the judgement loaded in the stares, too. Everyone's a fucking critic.

"Laxus?"

 _Great._ As if things aren't fucked up enough, he's caught in the middle of a Shitty Parent Moment by his extremely hot, perfect neighbor who lives next door with her sister. Laxus turns to face Mirajane and makes a conscious effort to wipe the omnipresent scowl off his face. He feels like a criminal with just three items striked off his grocery list, standing like a bulky lamppost in front of a weeping child. He's probably supposed to be holding Lucy, comforting her, quieting her, but his experience knows otherwise. Dreyars were naturally bratty and to indulge them was a shot in the foot.

"Oh, sweetie. Don't cry." When Laxus makes no greeting or any other acknowledgement that he sees Mirajane materialized in front of him, she moves to take the small girl into her arms. Laxus bites his tongue that he's trying to avoid paying too much attention to Lucy tantrums but he's tired. Too tired to protest or comfort or whatever fucking parental etiquette he's probably supposed to be following right now. He lets Mirajane shush the child. She's a nice woman and has babysat too many times to be a stranger. She sways from side to side and speaks in a soft voice and soon enough, the angry sobbing turns into pitiful hiccups.

"Sorry, kid." Laxus rubs a hand over his daughter's back. It's about as sympathetic as he can get over Lucky Charms. Then, he addresses Mira. "Sorry, too. I really wish you didn't have to see that."

Mirajane shrugs and offers one of her beatific smiles. Laxus almost feels the stress melt off his shoulders. "Rough week, daddy?"

Laxus laughs humorlessly. "I want three bottles of wine and a one way ticket to China."

Mirajane has made the very short list of people Laxus considers Cool™ because she doesn't say any of the stupid shit that people think they can say about how he raises his child and how honest he is about it being a challenge on good days and something akin to the seventh circle of hell on bad days. Kids are great but they are a hassle. Anyone who says otherwise is probably on a substance. "I can hold her while you finish shopping?"

He could have married her just for offering that. Choirs of cherubs sing in impeccable pitch in his head. "You sure? She's in a mood right now." Still, he's already pushing his cart forward and Mirajane follows with Lucy in her arms, already tired from her rage. He's expecting her to fall asleep now, as she is prone to after such fits.

"No worries." Mirajane replies easily. "Got any plans for the weekend?"

Laxus expertly maneuvers into the diaper lane. "Laundry. Lawn mower. Installing a bidet. Three seasons of House of Cards. Stress in the form of family." He takes Lucy's brand and dumps a month's worth of diapers into his cart. He consults his mental inventory for baby wipes, decides his supply is low and grabs an economy pack. "My grandfather's wife is visiting from New Zealand. She's a nightmare. She studies medicinal herbs and can curdle milk with a look. Used to be my afterschool tutor. Still makes my balls shrivel up when I hear her voice."

"That sounds… eventful. Will you be cooking?" She shifts the quiet toddler in her arms, brushes back wheat-colored hair from the girl's shoulders. The scent of lemon shampoo and baby powder lingers in the air.

"You mean buying a roast from Vons and saying I slaved three hours to make it?"

Mirajane laughs at that as they round an aisle. And suddenly, memory lane smacks him in the face and runs her cart against his.

Laxus manages to swallow his spit and choke on it at the same time. Mirajane looks alarmed and in an effort to slap him on the back, jostles Lucy awake.

"Comedic." The old lady whose cart Laxus ran into says. "Hello, Laxus. I see you're still an idiot."

Now Mirajane shifts her shocked expression to the stranger. She's about to say something but Laxus beats her to it. "Porlyusica. They really don't lie when they say you can summon Satan by talking about her." He spares Mirajane a glance. "This is the crazy woman my grandfather married."

"Ohh."

Porlyusica eyes the scene before her. "Makarov didn't mention anyone was crazy enough to marry you." Porlyusica's eyes are already softening as they appraise Lucy. "Ah, but _you,_ I've heard about. And aren't you a treasure." In the way of old people, Porlyusica's hands outstretch expectantly for Lucy. Mirajane looks inquisitively at Laxus who only sighs in resignation (and she guesses that's all the affirmative as Laxus allows) before depositing Lucy into Porlyusica's arms. Porlyusica actually coos and her stern face pulls up into a smile. Lucy, still too sleepy despite the new company, burrows her face into her new great grandmother's shoulder.

"Fantastic. You handed my daughter over to a known child eater."

Porlyusica glares at him. "Insolent boy. Introduce your wife to me."

The first wife comment had gone over both Mirajane and Laxus' head in the midst of the ruckus so the new one makes both of them blush in matching tones. "S-she's not my wife, you senile hag!" Laxus squawks the same time as Mirajane extends an unsure hand and says, "I'm Mirajane Strauss, his neighbor."

Porlyusica takes Mirajane's hand and shakes it firmly, balancing Lucy perfectly on the other. "Neighbor, huh? Could have fooled me." Before Laxus' noise of protest and mortification can be followed by any actual words, Porlyusica plows on. "You'll join us for dinner tonight, Miss Strauss." It sounds more like a statement or a command rather than an invitation.

"Oh, I couldn't impose-"

"You are an imposition only if I say you are." And just like that, both adults are silenced. Pleased, the older woman smiles tightly. "Lucy seems complaisant in your company. We would welcome you as a guest."

"You can't just invite people into my house," Laxus grumbles, like he's back in high school being scolded by the same woman for cheating on his take home Biology tests.

"Then maybe you should invite her yourself. There's a kennel of puppies by the pet area I can amuse the little one with. Finish your groceries and find us." Placing the sleepy girl on the pullout of her shopping cart, Porlyusica strides away just like that, leaving Laxus dumbstruck and Mirajane amused.

"Well?" Laxus finally says after he dismisses the awkwardness he still feels. "You wanna come over and see more of that circus?"

"Are you asking me because your grandmother told you to?"

"No." He tries very hard to ignore the whole _grandmother_ thing. "It's not so bad when you come over."

And knowing Laxus, that's as much as he can admit that he enjoys her company and wants more of it. She wonders if he knows his neck is pink again. She foregoes teasing him about it since he looks so close to imploding. "You make a girl swoon, Laxus. I'll be there, and I can help you make actual roast, how about that?"

"Great," Laxus bites out. His nerves always translate to a mean face and tart words. "Great stuff."

 _Great stuff._ She'll have to agree. The blush on him is incredibly endearing. Mirajane takes him by the arm and starts steering him to the snack aisle, since those are next on his list. "Your grandmother was kind enough to give us time to finish your groceries, so we better not just stand here and make eyes at each other. We have to buy things for the roast, too."

Laxus tamps down on his mortification. He's been through too much to be ruffled by a woman like this. "You're not gonna be this smug when you're talking to Porlyusica and the old man. They're nuts."

"I like nuts. And Lucy. So I don't imagine it's gonna be that much of a chore to have dinner with your family."

He likes nuts and Lucy, too. And he likes any woman who can jump into that mix without breaking a sweat. Laxus finds himself grinning for the first time today, actually happy at the turnout of events. Maybe Porlyusica isn't such a hag after all.


	2. sandbox bullies (mirajane)

**note:** Can you even _imagine_ Laxus as a kindergarten teacher? Because it takes me three cocktails to do so. But when I do, it's magnificent and adorable. This big, burly man with a giant tattoo under his button up shirts talking about shapes and numbers and eating one of those cliché teacher apples? FORGET ABOUT IT. IM SOLD. This is for Ika.

this chapter is not related to the first chapter

* * *

 **sandbox bullies**

 **.**

 **.**

Jesus, kids were cruel. It wasn't the first time the thought had crossed Laxus' mind. Maybe before his surprising career in early childhood education took off, he'd never given much of a shit about the mannerism or general existence of anyone under 10 years old but now, with an almost regular exposure to them, he could say a lot of them were a nasty bunch. They were kids, he knew, and they _might_ outgrow being bullies but it didn't make tolerating any injustice in his class any easier.

Yukino Strauss was a girl that was tiny in every sense of the word: a small child with a small voice and a small self-esteem. There were kids in every faction of his kindergarten that especially liked to pick on her and make her do their share of classroom chores.

Minerva, a chief in her austerity, was particularly troublesome in this regard. She had a rich father and thought she could do as she pleased and there would be no consequences. Minerva's unkindness ran the gamut from breaking Yukino's pencils to putting dead squirrels into Yukino's lunch box. Mean, mean, mean kid. More than Laxus cared for, he'd caught Minerva making young Strauss do all the cleanup work by herself as the assigned group just watched. Laxus spent a good fifteen minutes of his lunch with his ulcer simmering as he told them off and sent them to do their work.

"Yukino, come here," Laxus called from the nap corner just as everyone was vacating the class room. Yukino was always the last to go, always terrified of the shit she'd have to deal with in the playground. Laxus was just about at his wits end trying to figure out to put a stop to it without making more trouble for the girl.

Yukino approached, her steps short and quiet, about as unimposing as a gentle breeze. "Sorry, Mister Dreyar."

Laxus sighed. He hated the sad look in her eyes and couldn't bear to look at it. He sat on the ground with his legs crossed instead of crouching or bending because deny it as he might, his neck had kinks on top of kinks. He hated it much like he hated how he had to wear reading glasses orhow he had to take baby aspirin now. "You have to say no to them, okay? I know they're making you do it and they're being mean about it. I'm going to do my best to put a stop to that but you gotta help me, okay? You have to tell the mean kids no. You have to say no when you want to."

He'd sent her off and left the matter alone for now. He could see Yukino being joined by Sting from the other class, a sulking Rogue in tow. She'd be safe until the bell rang.

* * *

Mirajane tried to make things work. Sometimes, she told herself, that was the absolute best you could do. Maybe before she got pregnant and had to raise a child all by herself, she had time to do her hair or do more than wash her face for skincare or use fabric conditioner on her sheets. Maybe before she gave the boot to her scumbag of an ex, their combined incomes would allow them to hire some help. Maybe if she didn't insist on moving to the other side of town away from her family, she'd have a better support system. It was a lot of maybes. A lot of could've beens, too.

So far, Mirajane doesn't mind all those maybes and could've beens. She liked her new life here. God knew she needed this job paying an associate salary since having a child was only bound to get more expensive as the days passed. Working on a standard auditor's schedule was better, too. It was eight hours and you clocked out. No overtime, no fixed schedules. She made her rounds when she wanted to, as long as she clocked those eight hours in. Mira worked like a dog, but not enough to complain. She never gave herself the indulgence of self-pity, since she had bills on top of bills to pay.

She knew Yukino, too, struggled to adjust and it damn near broke Mirajane's heart to see her so, but she was confident they would find their footing. No great things happened when people stayed in their comfort zones, anyway. This was going to be a good move for them. No more drama, no more of just barely scraping by.

Mirajane watched Yukino finishing her dinner in breakfast nook. Did other parents just look at their child all the time and never get sick of it? Mira thought she could watch Yukino sleep a whole 8 hours, and then the rest of the day seeing every frown, every tentative smile, every glossy-eyed yawn and not tire of it. Yukino was a peach. Even from birth, she never gave her mommy much trouble. Now Mira only worried because Yukino wasn't making any friends in her class and the other kids were bullying her. Just today, Mirajane got an email from Yukino's teacher to meet at any convenient time tomorrow so they could discuss it. She'd make time for it, and they'd work on a solution for it. Her child was there for an education, not harassment.

"Sweetie, will you finish your beans so we can clear the table and do the dishes? You need to be in bed soon."

"I don't like beans, mama."

 _You and every other child in the planet,_ Mirajane wanted to say, but she shook her head instead. Yukino knew she couldn't get up until she cleared her plate. "Finish your vegetables or you're not leaving the table."

Mira could see Yukino's lower lip tremble. She was always so quick to cry when she thought her mother was upset with her. "I don't want to." Yukino said in a voice so quiet, Mirajane almost missed it.

"Well, you have to. I don't want to argue, baby. You know you need to eat your veggies."

For a while, Yukino didn't open her mouth again, and Mirajane thought that was that. But after a moment of what looked to be contemplation, Yukino spoke again. "No."

"What do you mean 'no'?"

"NO!"

Mirajane's eyes widened. She couldn't say she heard that word much from Yukino, who always did as she was told, despite not liking it. "Oh no. You're not going to sass me over veggies, missy."

"No! Mister Dreyar said I have to say no when I want to."

There was a time when Mirajane Strauss was called a demon for the expression of cold rage her face made when she was angry. Mister Dreyar was Yukino's teacher. She'd meet him tomorrow and give him a piece of her mind. Right now, she was too tired for any arguments. "I don't want you to yell at me again Yukino. That's not nice. Eat your beans and then get ready for bed." Mira rose from the table, collecting dishes for the wash and food for the tupperwares. By the sink, she could see from periphery Yukino stuff the beans into her mouth, chew ruefully, and chase it down with some water before leaving the table with a grimace.

* * *

She'd scheduled the parent/teacher meeting for after class so she could pick Yukino up and take her to the supermarket in one go. She'd met Mr Dreyar before, but not long enough to have a personal conversation like this. He always did look out of place among toys, alphabet posters and toddler-sized tables and chairs and that opinion didn't change now, as he let her into the classroom, to his desk smartly facing the floor to ceiling window that gave them a view of the playground where Yukino played with the two boys from the other class.

"Right, I know you're busy Mrs Strauss, so thanks for coming down." Laxus said the moment they were seated.

Mirajane appreciated the no-nonsense tone. "I'm not busy enough for this. You said you had progress on the bullying?"

"Yes." Laxus took a form out of his desk drawer, a carbon copy from the registrar's office. "I want to move Yukino to the other class. She has friends there, and they're good boys. They stick up for her and make her laugh. It won't be very awkward for her to transition into the new class with friends like that. The other teachers and I are on the same curriculum so she won't be behind or ahead. We've discussed it, and they're willing to take her in and keep an eye on her just in case."

Not quite expecting such an efficient solution so quick, Mirajane could admit that this was a pleasant surprise. "And the bullies?"

"I have more meetings with their parents this week to discuss punishment. Believe me when I say I won't stand to see the kids undisciplined, Mrs Strauss. I will update you on what actions have been taken as soon as the parents sign off on it."

Nodding, Mira stowed the reg form into her purse, ready to move on to another topic. "Last night, Yukino yelled at me. She's never done it before, so it surprised me. She didn't want to eat her vegetables and yelled 'no' and said that you told her to say no."

Professional enough not to say the 'what the fuck' that was on the tip of his tongue but not enough to keep the frown off his face, Laxus replied, "I never told your daughter to not eat her vegetables or yell at her mother, Mrs Strauss. I told her to start saying no to kids who toy with her."

All the fight just bubbling up in Mira's throat died down. That's what she got for being strung out and jumping to conclusions. "Oh. I suppose I didn't get the context…"

Laxus rubbed the back of his neck. "I'm sorry if she misunderstood. I just didn't want her to let the other kids push her around, Mrs Strauss. I don't teach my kids to disrespect their parents."

"It's miss."

Laxus barely heard the small admission. In that moment, she reminded him so much of her daughter, how they spoke low when abashed. "I'm sorry?"

"It's _miss_ Strauss. You keep saying missus." Mirajane waited a breath to see the realization in his eyes. "I'm not married."

"My apologies." _Damn it. Keep up, Laxus._ He squashed down the nervous impulse to scratch at the back of his neck again. "I didn't mean anything by it."

Mirajane nodded. A momentary silence passed before she spoke. "If you don't mind me saying so, you don't really look like a teacher." _Much less a kindergarten teacher._

"I get that a lot. I have a good background in education. I used to think I wanted to teach Ukranian lit like my mom did. I guess the wind just blows you places and you have to ride along with what it has planned for you." Laxus shrugged, not particularly bothered about it anymore. "It's not like it was a very tough decision anyway. I like kids."

It made Mirajane smile, how easily he admitted to that. She disliked men who hesitated when proclaiming their fondness for children. "So do I. Do you have any?"

"No. My grandfather keeps reminding me how he wants to spend all his retirement money spoiling babies before he dies, but I think it's not my time yet." The memory made Laxus grin. Makarov just started being wheelchair bound three months ago and already he was making noise about how he was going to die without any great grandchildren.

"I think you'll be great at raising children."

"You'd think that, seeing as I teach them. But I go home every day feeling more out of my league trying to teach kids the basic concepts of human socialization through papier mache group projects than I did writing my dissertation on the Bukovyna Women's Movement." Struck by immediate relief and a sense of security, Laxus decided to end the meeting before he could say something stupid. "In any case, thank you for coming down today, Ms Strauss." He offered his hand as both of them rose. She shook it in a firm grip.

"Mirajane, please." She brushed wrinkles off her slacks and hefted her handbag. "I do appreciate all the help. I hope you'll keep me apprised of any progress?"

 _Mirajane._ It rang so lovely, even in his mind. "Of course. We can also integrate Yukino into the other class as soon as the paperwork gets done. The principal's administrator will be calling you about that."

When she smiled at him, he could feel his expression mirror hers. He felt too old to be experiencing this kind of pulse-raising when a pretty girl smiled at him. _Get it together._

Thankfully, he showed her out without opening his big mouth and embarrassing himself. But one of these days, he'd have to figure out a way to ask miss Strauss out.

* * *

 **note** : One of my old college friends from educ was on the path to be some sort of scientist/professor hybrid for our government. Forgive me if this isn't actually a thing, but I think she was studying mutant biology (?) last I heard and she had all these awards and she was already a doctor but it stressed her out so much that she just shifted to teaching kids. Tbh im so happy for her because she looks so zen and she just got married. Kinda inspired this whole thing. I'm sorry if I don't know much about educ that this sounds weird. I'm not actually close enough to that girl to ask 'hey tell me about your career history I need it for fanfiction'.

Anyway. I feel like there will be a part two for this. Maybe. I need Laxus in glasses asking Mira out. Or them hooking up during the out of town field trip that she help chaperone. Who knows!


	3. dr catch (erza)

**note:** The unfortunate character shrunk down into a child in this au is Natsu. I was watching old FT episodes and he was so cute in the episode where he and Lisanna hatched their "dragon egg".

* * *

 **dr. catch**

.

.

"There he is, Erza. What did I tell you? Isn't he absolutely delicious?"

When Erza heard Mirajane's excited whisper, she looked up from her magazine and followed where her friend's finger shamelessly pointed at a new arrival.

At six months pregnant, it was twice as easy to get Mirajane thrilled about everything. Erza supposed it was because Mira was bored since she started her shifts manning the reception of the physical therapy ward. Before her temporary post as a desk rider, Mirajane had a reputation for handling the therapy of athletes twice her size, so Erza could understand how dull her new job seemed compared to it. This morning, when Erza came in with Natsu for his session, Mirajane started the usual gossip mill off by regaling the adventures of a handsome man who would come in sometime during clinic hours and take his shirt off during his session, rendering her brain dead for a whole hour. Erza supposed it was an exaggeration. This man was supposed to be a family friend so Mirajane bestowed upon herself the right to appreciate without malicious intent, despite being happily married.

The physical therapy ward was not family run but it might as well have been. Mirajane's brother, Elfman, and her husband, Laxus, were therapists in the same practice. Her sister-in-law, Evergreen, was a nurse. Their head orthopedic was her grandfather-in-law. Details like that made Erza confident in leaving her 10 year old in their hands. Natsu didn't grow up with his father but he knew the importance of family. It was one of the many things that made Erza proud of him.

Erza took Mirajane's pointing finger and shoved it down before the man could see. While agreeably delicious, he might not do well to know he was a spectacle. Erza hoped she was subtle while she took in his blue hair and the distinctive tattoo on the left side of his face. The man removed his windbreaker and stomped the snow from the soles of his boots.

"It sure is a mess outside. The snow must be a foot deep by now." He said as greeting when he finally got to the reception area.

"Good morning, Jellal. I hope the drive wasn't too much trouble. Freed is ready for you on the fourth bed."

"Great. Thanks, Mira." Jellal handed his health card over and left, but not before smiling kindly at Erza.

"What a dish, am I right? He was totally making eyes at you, Erza. I saw." Mirajane said in a miserable attempt at keeping her voice down once Jellal joined his therapist.

When Mirajane got like this (that is, in Erza's opinion, hysterical and delusional), Erza knew she had to pump the brakes before Mira could set her up on another blind date from Hell.

"Do you think your husband can hear you calling another man 'delicious'? Or maybe your future child is witnessing what a flirt her mother is?"

"Jellal _is_ delicious. Visually, I mean. I don't think Laxus minds. They're college buddies."

"I doubt it works like that."

"Wait, shh. You'll miss it! This is the best part!" Suddenly, Mirajane grabbed Erza's forearm in an alarming grip.

Erza watched as Freed lead Jellal to the TENS station. Jellal took his shirt off before taking a seat.

"Beautiful, isn't it? He's receiving treatment for just his arm but he _always_ takes his shirt off even when he doesn't have to. No one tells him because they know I would murder them in their sleep." Mirajane pretended to wipe at a tear. "It's a work of art. My pregnancy goes so well because I am privy to this miracle every Monday, Wednesday and Friday. He has the most impressive cum gutters. I mean, aside from Laxus'. Jellal's is a close second."

"You're gross." Erza finally said when she couldn't think of any other way to convey her sentiment without betraying her awe and agreement.

"Sure, Erza. Let's just pretend your eyes didn't bug out of their sockets when you saw his shoulders flex." Mirajane waited a beat before continuing. "His name is Jellal Fernandes. Very single. Like, it's baffling how no one is hitching a ride on that caboose. He'll be forty, this June. And did I mention he's a doctor? A really fancy one that travels. He worked for some scholars last year, which is how he got in an accident. I know it's about bugs or something. It's probably rude, but I can't remember much about him when he's on display like that."

Erza laughed. "I'll take your word for it. But don't even think about setting me up again, Mira. I'm serious. Not after Hibiki. You lost all your Well-Meaning Friend credit after that."

Mirajane pouted but she knew when she was defeated. "Your loss. He's a catch. With a doctorate. He's like, Dr. Catch." When Erza only shook her head in amusement, Mirajane sighed and began inputting Jellal's insurance information into the computer.

There wasn't much to do while Erza waited for her son's therapy to be over. If it wasn't mind-numbing Candy Crush on her phone, it was gossip with Mira, and that dried up much quicker today than Erza expected.

Jellal finished up with physio much than Natsu did. He gave Erza another smile when he approached the reception desk to check out.

"Mira said she'll be back soon. She wanted to buy snacks." Erza offered when Jellal saw the station unmanned.

"Oh, right. That's fine, thanks."

An easy silence passed between them but Erza never liked silences. Maybe she wasn't used to them. "You know you don't have to take your shirt off, right?"

"I don't?" Jellal asked, a brow cocked.

"Not really. You just looked uncomfortable so I thought I'd say."

"Ah, yeah. It's really cold in here. I guess that's why some of the older patients were snickering."

"And here I thought you were just showing off." Erza joked before she could catch herself.

"Hm. Got you to look, didn't I?"

Erza laughed. She normally didn't buy into cheesy flirtation but Dr. Catch had a natural skill for it. Emphasis on the cheesy. "I'd be blushing if you weren't already doing it."

He probably wasn't. But now he did. Erza almost laughed again.

"I'm Erza. I don't normally stand in for the receptionist."

"Jellal. I don't normally take my shirt off for no reason."

Erza grinned, fast and wide. "So what are you in for? Mirajane said it was about your arm."

"Ah. I fell on it when we were spelunking." He looked embarrassed for a while. "I find spiders for a living. Usually in caves or forests. So this isn't really my first rodeo."

Erza couldn't help the shudder. Anything with more than four legs needed to keep at least a ten foot radius from her. Thankfully, Jellal only smiled.

"Not a fan of the creepy-crawlies, I see."

"I'm sorry. I can't trust spiders after that one time in college."

"That's cryptic, but understandable. How about you, though? Do you come here often?"

Erza was spared having to answer when Natsu barreled into her side. "Mmmmmmmom, I'm done!"

Erza felt the wind knocked out of her. Her son started talking too fast, too loud, and she missed half of what he was saying. She held onto key words: Ice cream, Gray and new ball. She was about to tell Natsu to speak slower when he suddenly gasped and pointed a finger at Jellal. Erza felt the punch of Deja vu when she instinctively pushed his hand down.

"IS THAT A SAILOR MERCURY SHIRT!" Natsu's question felt more like an exclamation. An accusation. Erza thought to herself, _at least it's the tshirt._

She was twice as relieved when Jellal only grinned. "Yes, she's my favorite. My sister has one, too, but of Luna."

"I like Sailor Mars better. Lucy likes Sailor Moon because she's blonde and has a cat, too. Lucy's cat is named Loke. Do you like cats? Did you watch Sailor Stars already because Lucy can't get a copy of it yet and I don't want to hear any spoilers so don't get any ideas! And your tattoo is neat, is it real? Sometimes Gray draws on my face and-"

"Ok, you definitely don't need ice cream." Erza said, carding her fingers through his already sweaty hair. "How is your back now?"

"Achey. Can I nap until dinner? But I have to call Lucy first and tell her about Sailor Stars because she said to remind her to ask her dad again. Then I have to ask her about homework because I forgot to write it down. But after that can I nap?"

"Yes. Go get your bag and say thank you to Laxus."

Natsu ran off, screaming, "GOODBYE SAILOR MERCURY MAN". Erza laughed again because Jellal looked stunned.

"It's like watching F1 racing, huh? It's too quick to know what's happening until it's over." Her eyes followed the blur of pink scooping up his back pack while yelling inane updates to Laxus. "My son, Natsu. He's twelve, so that's twelve years of me being perpetually exhausted."

"I think that's the first time a child asked about my shirt before the facial tattoo. He seems like a good kid. I generally like anyone who compliments this shirt."

"He's rowdy, but sweet. He has scoliosis and does all these sports. It makes me nervous but as long as he's happy and not pushing himself."

By the door of the PT ward, Natsu, with his jacket zipped up to his chin and his bag strapped to his shoulders, yelled for his mother to hurry up. Erza smiled apologetically at Jellal. "That's the midnight clock. I'll see you around?"

"Yes, absolutely. It was nice meeting you and Natsu." Jellal's hands twitched by his side. She had such lovely hair he caught himself wanting to touch it. Mortified, he stuffed his fists into his windbreaker pockets. "Drive safe."

When Erza finally left with Natsu, Jellal walked up to Laxus, who was just cleaning up after his session. Jellal plopped down on the newly sterilized bed, ignoring the thinning of Laxus' lips. "Man. I just flirted with a married woman. And I almost touched her hair without permission. Like I was in a trance. I want to die. Can you recommend any other hospitals nearby that offers PT on my insurance?"

Laxus crossed his arms. Jellal almost made a joke about the extra 20 seconds Laxus took to grasp his words. "Erza Scarlet? You flirted with her?"

 _Scarlet._ God, even her last name was perfect. "Your comprehension skills are still sharp as ever, Laxus."

Already tart and sour, Laxus looked downright done now. "Thanks, asshole. She's not married, though."

Jellal's brows knit together. "You pulling my leg or something?"

"I only pull legs when my occupation calls for it."

"Oh, haha. Laxus made a funny."

"She's not married. Divorced, I think. Mira told me. They're close." It wasn't rare that Laxus gave Jellal his classic side-eye, but it had been long since Jellal saw it in person. "If you stay around long enough, Lisanna's birthday is in two weeks. Mira's throwing a party. Erza's invited."

"And?"

"And?" Laxus echoed incredulously. "Jesus. 'You really want me to spell it out for you? Come to the party, ask her out. Are you sixteen years old?"

"Since when are you allowed to invite people for your sister-in-law?"

"Since your balls shriveled up and fell off, apparently. Go away. I have to work. Talk to Mira about the party. "

Jellal did just that. Laxus was unbearable when he was grumpy, which would be 80% of the time he was alive. Jellal went back by the reception area to wait for Mira to give his card back. And maybe ask her about that party Erza was going to be at.


	4. no rest for the weary (natsu)

**note:** this was a prompt from underworldwrites on tumblr. Today's baby is Sting. I rather like him as Natsu's cub. This guest stars Lucy.

* * *

 **no rest for the weary**

 **.**

 **.**

Natsu rocked back and forth in a motion he hoped would soothe Sting. He'd been trying to prepare for this for months and now that it was game time, he felt totally incompetent. Even after two years of careful vetting from the agency, all the books about parenting, seminars, educational videos, there wasn't anything quite like having the baby in his arms and seeing him wail for no reason. Natsu felt anxiety bubble up in him, threatening to shatter the thin veneer of calm he'd been putting up since he came home with Sting in a carrier. Now, nineteen hours later, running on no sleep and having exhausted every soothing method known to infant literature, Natsu felt like he was about to join his new son in the crying party.

A knock sounded on his door, making Natsu curse. With Sting pressed against his chest, he jogged lightly to answer it before the bozo could make any more noise. In the peephole, he saw it was just Lucy, the funny girl who lived next door, who had sitcom-like shticks with Natsu's cat, Happy. Natsu unlocked the door with one hand and ushered Lucy inside quickly.

"Sorry, sorry. I didn't want to disturb you but I was wondering if you needed any help?" Lucy said as she followed him inside the second bedroom acting as a nursery.

Natsu grimaced. "I'm sorry about that. I'm trying to put my son to bed but he's not having any of it." He watched Sting's small face, scrunched up and red, and he worried. It was not a very nice complexion on a child.

Lucy bounced on the heels of her feet and peered at the baby. She had no idea Natsu had been expecting a son. She knew he wasn't seeing anyone, at least. "Hey, don't worry about it. I can help with anything, if you want. What do you need?"

Natsu looked like he struggled internally before relenting. "Can you hold him for a bit? I actually need to pee. Sorry."

Lucy laughed, if only to lighten the mood, and was glad when it urged a tired smile from Natsu. He moved to place Sting into the cradle of Lucy's arms and adjusted her hold when he was free.

"I'll be right back." He said, before dashing out of the room.

Lucy rocked same as Natsu did, but it did little to pacify the upset baby. "I'm sorry, little man. Daddy will be right back," Lucy cooed softly. She had practice in holding babies, as her cousin's wife liked to pop one out every couple of years, but admittedly, she had little clue as to why they cried aside from the basic reasons. "Are you gassy? Or wet?" Her palm felt for the diaper and deemed it fresh.

Sting turned his face into her chest and made suckling noises. Lucy turned red before she laughed again, and it was in that moment that Natsu chose to rejoin her.

"Tell your son that my milk is still powdered," She said in jest. "Do you have a bottle ready?"

"I've been trying to feed him but he didn't want any." His voice almost sounded like a whine. Natsu took one from the heater and gave Lucy an uncapped bottle.

Lucy held the nipple up to Sting's lips and he took it. Natsu's mouth hung open and Lucy aimed a smug smile at him.

"Well, traitor, you could have just said you wanted a pretty girl to hold you," Natsu pretended to gripe as he watched his son eat. "Shit, Lucy, I don't even feel that bad for waking you up at this time. I really needed a break. Thanks for being here."

"No problem. If I knew you were gonna be bringing him home today, I would have come to help out earlier." Lucy swayed, feeling relief pour out of Natsu now that the crying had stopped.

"I didn't tell a lot of people. I didn't want to jinx it." Natsu's boyish grin flashed, even as he stretched out on the rocking chair, sore all over now that the adrenaline was leaving his system and he was crashing fast. "I've been trying to adopt for years. It got canceled last minute once before, and it sucked. So I didn't want to get anyone's hopes up again." He yawned hugely, feeling his jaw creak and his eyes water. "My dad and stepmom are gonna arrive in two days. They're gonna stay for a while to help me get settled in. Little man was born a little earlier than everyone expected so I had to rush over this morning and take him home."

Lucy shifted her hold on Sting and the bottle. "I'm home for work most of the time so I can pop in to help, if you like. I really don't mind."

Natsu thought about declining even just to be polite, but decided against it. He was already too damn spent. "I'd like that. I'm really out of my league here. I don't know what I was thinking."

"You wanted to be a dad. It doesn't mean you need to have it all figured out. I don't think any parents do. Especially new ones."

Natsu opened his mouth, but closed it again when nothing contrary was forthcoming. Lucy's pep talk effectively crushed hours of accumulating guilt. "Thanks, Luce. I've been kicking my ass about this all night."

"The next time self-doubt piles up, call me and I'll bring baked goods."

Lucy stopped rocking when the bottle was empty and seamlessly shifted to burp Sting. At Natsu's impressed look, she explained, "I lived with my cousin and his wife when they popped out newborns every other year. I can do this in my sleep."

"Lucky me then."

Lucy put the drowsy baby into the bassinet and tried not to make a sound as she backed away.

"I think he'll be good if he gets used to not seeing someone hover as he falls asleep." She dropped down on the deep wingback chair beside Natsu.

"I swear I'm gonna be bugging you whenever Sting wants a pretty girl to hold him." Natsu assured her with a yawn. Belly down, he burrowed his face into the crook of his crossed arms.

"I don't mind. I like any excuse to get out of the house." Lucy said with her own yawn.

It was past midnight, and they fell asleep just like that, sprawled uncomfortably, a more than a few hair out of place. Natsu came to a few hours later when the sharp wail of his son broke the night, but he felt Lucy's hand on his shoulder pushing him down, heard her sleepy voice say, "I'll get him."

And if those words wasn't what Cupid's arrow felt like, then he didn't know what could be.

* * *

 **note** : I'm just all about people who don't let not having a partner get in the way of having the family they want. That's really brave and badass.

This might be really inaccurate so as always, take it with a shit load of salt. Taking the adopted baby home is fairly straightforward in my country so that's what I sorta based it off.


	5. a cosmic shift (mirajane)

**note:** this is part two of _sandbox bullies_ , which can be found in chapter 2.

* * *

 **a cosmic shift**

.

.

Sometimes, all it took was one action to rearrange a galaxy. For Mirajane, whose Milky Way took shelter in the adorably round face of her six year old, Yukino, the shift felt cosmic.

She'd been worried about Yukino's transfer to another class. Her girl had already been through so much with the move; was it wise to make her adapt to more change when she barely settled into the last one?

The transfer to the other class proved to be a good one. Mira wished she knew it would be that simple. Kids weren't picking on Yukino anymore and she came home from school still excited about the friends she played with. Mirajane felt her heart was swollen with joy. The whole household was drastically altered: cheerful since they left the comfort of their old lives. It felt like things were finally, finally falling into place.

The decision to leave behind the town she grew up in, all the family and friends that supported her through her pregnancy and the first years of Yukino's life, had been a difficult but necessary one. But no matter how crucial, it had been painful. There had been challenging moments when Mira considered going back with her tail between her legs, were it not for the desire to give her child a better life. In the end, homesickness couldn't trump ambition.

These days, Mirajane would settle into bed exhausted, but warm thinking of how her baby had a bright future ahead of her, how she bubbled with giggles so often or how her aura radiated. Sure, things weren't perfect, but they might as well be.

Mirajane wished she had the foresight to take better care of herself, though.

She was supposed to take Yukino to the lake today but the tightness in her chest last night turned out to be a fever this morning. Yukino only looked disappointed for a few minutes before crying from driving herself into a pit of pity for her ashen-faced mother.

"I promise I'm fine, baby." Mirajane smoothed a hand down her daughter's cap of hair, a shade nearly identical to her own. "I'll just take a nap for a while and then you can help me cook lunch, okay?"

"Yes, mama." Yukino sniffled, her nose pink and running. It almost made Mirajane laugh. Kids had a tendency to be entertaining when they were being dramatic.

"You can watch TV for a while, but don't sit close to the screen."

Yukino scrambled off Mirajane's bed and sat by the foot of it in front of the television. When the History Channel blinked into Elmo, Mirajane let her eyes flutter close, falling asleep to a song counting in multiples of two.

 **.**

 **.**

Mirajane startled awake a couple of hours later to the loud ding of the doorbell. She saw Yukino bolt up from her sprawl on the floor.

"I told you that you can't answer the door without me, Yukino." Mirajane sat up and put her feet into the house slippers Yukino got for her.

"Don't worry, mama, it's only Mr Dreyar," Yukino told her as she exited Mirajane's bedroom.

Maybe it was the fever, but Mirajane took a while to remember a Mr Dreyar. When she did, she was speed walking down the hall, the stairs, while simultaneously taming her hair into something that didn't resemble pulled cotton. When she reached the landing, Yukino was already smiling up at her old teacher as he hung his coat on the hat stand.

Mirajane had kept correspondence with Mr Dreyar enough that she was on a first name basis with him. There was a lot to discuss about the transfer, meetings with the guidance counselor, reports of academic process, more meetings with the new teachers, and then some. Mira enjoyed most the unnecessary but absolutely appreciated status reports that Laxus sent her about how Yukino had crawled out of her shell and played raucously with the children in her new class.

Admittedly, it was a bit weird that he was here, in her house, apparently expected by her daughter. It wasn't a bad weird, though.

"You… look like you don't know why I'm here," Laxus said cautiously when he finally saw Mirajane.

"I'm sorry, I just woke up."

"Mama has a flu," Yukino said.

"A fever," Mirajane corrected. "Did I-?"

"Yukino called me on your phone. She asked me to make lunch for you because you were sick." Laxus couldn't quite stop his amused smile. "I assumed she told you about it, and that she had your permission."

"No, it's fine. I'm just sorry to trouble you." Going down the rest of the stairs, wishing she wore _anything_ other than the most embarrassing clothing she owned (matching yellow Yoshi pajamas that she reserved _specifically_ for days that had zero chances of anyone seeing them), Mirajane told herself to calm down. "I was gonna call a sitter for her," she said, feeling the need to defend herself for some reason.

Laxus shrugged. "Great. I normally charge an exorbitant forty bucks an hour because I have a PhD in babysitting. But we can discuss alternative payment later. I bought supplies for lunch." He shook the bag of groceries in his hand. "I hope you're not violently opposed to soup. It's the only thing aside from Hennessy that I know is good with fevers."

The laughter that bubbled out of Mira made her temple throb. She placed a hand on Yukino's head and lead Laxus to the kitchen. "If I'm going to pay a premium, I might as well make proper use of you, shouldn't I?"

There was a funny look on Laxus' face when he stopped by the counter, one with a brow raised and a small, smug tilt to his lips. "I suppose you should. I wouldn't be opposed." He began to sort out the groceries, and then helped himself to the utensils and equipment.

Mirajane probably shouldn't be so at ease with a guy she barely knew cooking in her kitchen. Red-faced (and definitely not from the fever), she made her way to the eat in area, intent to check her email for all the work she missed for the last couple of days as she listened to the quiet noise of someone cooking.

"Do you like celery?" she heard Laxus ask. When Mira looked up, she saw him addressing Yukino who sat on the counter beside his chopping board.

Yukino stuck her tongue out and made a disgusted face in answer.

"Too bad. It's good for you, so it goes in the pot," Laxus said as he continued chopping.

"You're putting an awful lotta green in there, Mr Dreyar," Yukino remarked, her face retaining the sickened look. "You said this was gonna be _chicken_ soup."

Laxus turned to dump the cut vegetables into the chicken broth. "It's chicken soup _with_ vegetables." Laxus' eyes flickered up to catch Mirajane's gaze for a second, before facing Yukino again. "Some crazy old lady yelled at me because you didn't eat veggies so I'm putting some in the soup. It's my grandfather's recipe and he used to make me eat it before he let me go out to play with my friends."

"Crazy old lady, huh?" Mirajane called out.

"Yeah. White hair, angry little face. Pretty, though," Laxus replied. He celebrated internally when it got his intended reaction, which was a smile.

"I have white hair!" Yukino declared with a beam.

"You sure do, kid. Wanna go set the table for your mom? This is gonna be done in a bit."

Mira tried to relax and not hover as Yukino retrieved three bowls from the dish racks. The small girl asked Laxus for help getting the pitcher of water in the refrigerator before bringing it to her mother with a glass. Yukino sat in the curve of the nook, her legs swinging under her.

"Thank you, baby. Isn't this very nice service? And all I had to do was get sick."

Laxus hefted the steaming dutch oven from the burner and brought it to the table. It smelled good enough to bypass the nausea.

"I didn't know I was so hungry until now. Thank you, Laxus. This is great."

Laxus placed a filled bowl in front of Mirajane. "Good. Because you're gonna have enough leftovers for a few days. This keeps really well in the fridge."

Mirajane didn't make it a point for any man she was interested in to meet her daughter (much less bring him home) unless she knew it was serious. So far, none had gotten past the third date, and yet here Laxus was, no date, but already making lunch with Yukino. It was kind of surreal, wasn't it? And funny. It seemed to Mira that it was Yukino who found Laxus first and brought him to her. This time, in a literal sense.

She ate and watched Yukino collect the peas from her soup on her spoon.

"Mr Dreyar?"

"Yeah?"

Yukino gave the bigger man a sweet, heart-melting smile before putting her spoonful of peas in his bowl. She giggled when Laxus made a play at being distressed.

"Now I gotta eat peas. I don't like peas."

"Why did you put them in the soup?" Yukino asked.

"Because we're not the ones sick, so it doesn't really matter if we like peas or not."

Mirajane grinned at him over her soup. "I don't like peas, either."

"Right. I'll keep that in mind next time."

 _Next time._ That sounded nice.

"Mama, can Mr Dreyar see Angel?" Yukino asked, already inching out of her spot in the banquette, soup untouched if not for the bits of chicken she fished out of the mix.

"If you clean the pen real quick, then yes. She wouldn't want her guest to see a dirty home. Be careful." Mira called out to her already sprinting daughter.

Laxus jogged his memory. He remembered an Angel from one of Yukino's art projects. "Her rabbit, right?"

"She begged and begged. I'm only human and I couldn't say no. I got her a pair."

"Understandable. Only a rock could say no to that face."

"I'm glad you agree." She studied his face for a bit, unabashed. She liked the way his expressions hardened, and then gave way to softer ones. "I've been trying to figure out why you look so different today. I just noticed that you're not wearing your glasses."

Laxus' lips fell into thin lines and his eyes expressed the fakest attempt at annoyance. "I doesn't go with my outfit."

His dry tone made her laugh. "Well, who really needs good vision when you're wearing a band shirt, right?"

Laxus made a not very subtle attempt to sweep his gaze over Mira. "I can see well enough." _And the view looked terrific. Even in Yoshi pajamas._

The silence that passed between them was easy. For a very brief moment, Mirajane thought to herself that she could get used to this: having quiet meals with a gorgeous, educated man who got along well with her daughter. The idea made her blush before it could even pass. Hoping to clear the heat simmering under her cheeks, Mirajane cleared her throat and set her spoon down beside her empty bowl."So… about that payment."

"I was kidding. I don't really charge forty bucks an hour."

"Cool How about dinner, then?"

"Dinner as in you want me to stay a bit more and make you guys dinner?"

"I was thinking along the lines of me getting an actual sitter. We can go somewhere fancy. Maybe you can take me back when Yukino's in bed." Mira was sure her hand wasn't shaking when she reached for her glass of water and sipped. All things considered, she was being really cool about all this. She liked the man. Really, really, really liked him. The fact that he was a _kindergarten_ teacher made her heart swell, and to make it burst was the fact that he saved her baby from bullies. He was efficient, kind and he knew how to cook soup. His ass was great in his jeans and his glasses, when he wore them, turned her on. Why shouldn't she, for once in her life as a mother, do something potentially reckless? "She's a very heavy sleeper."

Laxus looked like he was about to choke or go through several red-hued complexions at Mirajane's suggestions. "You're forward. I love it."

All Mira could do was smile proudly because Yukino chose that moment to come running back into the kitchen.

"The cage is clean!" Yukino announced, planting her palms on the table, looking straight at Laxus with the manic eyes only an excited child could possess. "Come see her, Mr Dreyar."

Laxus got up and took Yukino's proffered hand. The conversation wasn't over with Mirajane and he thrived off the promise of more.

"Angel has a friend named Racer because he's fast!"

As Yukino urged Laxus away, Mira settled back into the breakfast nook and smiled at the sight. When Laxus looked back to grin at Mira, she winked back, feeling, perhaps for the first time in a very long time, both frightened and thrilled to let someone into her life.

* * *

 **note** : I have a Bad Hangover and project the desire for soup through fanfiction written with no regard for finesse because of the aforementioned hangover. More things I project in this AU: My hatred of peas.


	6. man with the elsa bag (jellal)

**note: wordslinger** and I like this thing, where women objectify hot men who hold cute children. This is gonna be in 3 parts I think? I think. All I know is that I can't commit to anything. Today's baby is Wendy!

* * *

 **man with the elsa bag**

(aka part one of _CHRONICLES OF THAT HOT DAD WHO DRIVES A JEEP AND WEARS GLITTERY BACKPACKS_ )

 **.**

 **.**

There were cars that looked irresponsible on first sight. Erza didn't know a lot about cars, but she knew how she felt about the look of this one. A big, black Jeep didn't look like it should be strolling up to the driveway of her school where its tall and wide bumper could very well run over some defenseless kids brimming with nervous energy—the kind of energy that made them think it was a good idea to just step in front of moving vehicles, if her seven year experience in an educational environment taught her anything.

But that was probably just her. The Jeep was probably okay. Probably. She drove a Ford Focus, which was about as dangerous as throwing a box of tampons down the freeway. She didn't know about dangerous cars.

She was in the faculty room, catching up with her teacher friends after the summer break. Still ill at rest, Erza continued to spy at the car from the conveniently placed window overlooking the front most entrance of the school. She watched the car park, watched the lights blink a couple of times, then foolishly waited on baited breath to see the face of someone who would bring a monster like that to a place crawling with susceptible hit and run victims.

She felt even more foolish for having her breath taken away by the man who jumped down from the driver's seat and sprint to the right rear door. Erza didn't like to overreact but he was the most beautiful man she'd ever seen. Weird-looking, but a sexy kind of weird.

"Mira, come here," Erza hissed out to her friend, the maths teacher, Mirajane Strauss. Mira liked to stick her nose where it didn't belong and Erza might loathe it on normal days but times like this, times when she needed another person to objectify someone with to feel validated, were when Mira was truly irreplaceable as a friend.

Mirajane ducked so she could see out of the window Erza looked from, her hair swinging over Erza's shoulder.

"Oh, my…" Mirajane said.

Erza grinned. She felt the exact same way. "Dibs."

"Fuck," Mirajane rolled her eyes. "You can't dibs on a dad. He might be married."

"Then, viewing dibs."

"All Dibs expire if you don't jump on that by the end of the year, though. Then, it's fair game."

"You're married." Erza felt the need to remind Mirajane.

"Right. Nothing in my vows prevents me from window shopping."

They fell silent, religiously watching the man grab an Elsa backpack and swing it over his shoulder before swiftly unbuckling the pastel yellow child seat and scooping up a small girl with shoulder-length blue hair that matched his shade.

Mirajane whistled lowly. "Man, oh, man. I get my rocks off watching men who know how to work a car seat. Laxus has sausage fingers and takes a while to get it together."

Erza hummed. She wished Mirajane wouldn't speak. It kind of ruined the whole cinematic experience.

"What's going on here?" Natsu, the guidance counselor, joined the window gallery.

"There is a beautiful man holding his beautiful child and we're treating him like a piece of meat. And Principal Scarlet wants to take him home and make a snack out of him." Mirajane answered.

Erza didn't answer because she didn't like lying or incriminating herself.

Curious now, Natsu bent to see what they were looking at.

Now the three of them watched the man place his daughter on his shoulders, smiling when she laughed in delight as they climbed the steep stairs leading to the entrance of Pre-K, just next door. Just shy of the door, the girl tugged on her father's hair and started wailing.

 _First day jitters,_ Erza thought, and felt her heart bleed for it.

"Shit. Poor kid. Now I'm invested." Natsu grabbed Mirajane's swivel chair and sat.

They watched the man put his daughter on his lap and talk to her in a calming manner. Around them, other parents and children buzzed about, some dealing with their excitement gracefully, the others facing similar breakdowns.

"That is the cutest thing I've ever seen," Mira remarked. "Why are normal events better when someone involved is hot?"

"Poor kid," Natsu reiterated. "I remember making my dad chase me two blocks because I tried to run home on my first day."

"Hey, both of you, shut up. I'm trying to enjoy this." Erza shoved at Natsu without taking her eyes off the father and child. "Go away. Get ready for the opening ceremony."

Natsu rose, leaving her area to loiter around Lucy's desk instead.

Mirajane stood. "How about you go find out if it's just viewing dibs or _dibs_ dibs." When Erza only looked confused, Mirajane rolled her eyes. "Find out if he's married or if you can indeed make a snack out of him."

 _Right,_ Erza thought. She didn't plan on waiting long. She checked her wrist piece and saw she had a couple of hours until the opening ceremony, which was after the children met their class advisers. Like one of the foolish children she governed, she sprinted to the Pre-K area.

She saw the man with his daughter, and as she approached, checked to see if her ID was clipped to her breast pocket like it always was.

Up close, she could see the girl was red in the face and near choking on her sobs. "I wanna go home!" she kept saying over her father's careful reassurances.

"Hi there!" Erza chirped in her teacher chirp as she crouched down to be eye level with the girl. "I'm Ms. Scarlet. I like your bag."

The girl clutched the bag on her lap, trembling slightly and visibly exhausted from her tantrum. When she didn't speak, her father took her small hand and waved it. "Hey, what do you do when someone introduces themselves to you?"

The little girl looked up at her father. "Run and find the police?"

The man blinked, his eyes so beautiful it sent a pang through Erza's heart. He had a tattoo on the side of his face and it was just perfect to go along with everything else perfect about him.

He laughed, so clear and infectious that Erza joined in.

"No, silly, you introduce yourself, too."

"I'm the principal here," Erza volunteered. "You can trust me."

The man nudged his daughter again.

"My name is Wendy Fernandes. I have a card in my bag because I can't spell my last name yet or remember daddy's cellphone number. I give it to adults when I'm lost."

The man grinned proudly and laid a hand on top of his daughter's head. "It's her first day. She's never been away from me."

Erza nodded. "We understand. We allow parents to stay around and get a feel of the environment their children will be staying at."

"Oh, it's just me." He gestured with a ring-less left hand. Erza had a brief moment to think, _SCORE_. Then, felt bad for thinking so.

She looked at Wendy and gave her a dimpled smile. "Your dad can stay with you for a while, but you know, I'm sure that as soon as you get inside, you're going to make friends and play lots. We have a very cool playground and lots of toys inside."

"See? That sounds fun, right?" The man asked his daughter. Wendy frowned and clutched at his tear-stained shirt.

He shrugged at Erza.

"It's totally understandable. If you guys like, you can go inside and have a look around. The Early Education wing encourages exploration as long as she's in her class room before assembly with their teachers."

He began to stand, carrying Wendy and her backpack with ease. He was delightfully tall. Erza hoped she wasn't salivating. "Cool. I think we'll do just that, won't we, Wendy?"

The little girl pressed her face into her dad's collar. He grinned in a _what can you do_ way. He extended his hand and Erza shook it automatically. "Jellal Fernandes. Thanks for seeing us, Ms Scarlet. We're gonna go have a look around now."

"No problem. Please call my office any time you have concerns. I have an open door policy." To Wendy, she said, "I hope to see you in the opening ceremony, Wendy. Bye, for now."

She waved as the Fernandeses entered Pre-K.

Just barely inside the main building, Mirajane accosted Erza.

"So?"

Erza grinned. "It's a _dibs_ dibs. And he has a facial tattoo. It was sexy."

"I can't believe you actually _ran_ to him to check, and in three inch heels." Mirajane smirked, clearly having seen the whole thing from her strategically placed desk. "You thirsty bitch. You're my hero. Did you get his number?"

Erza rolled her eyes and pushed past Mirajane. "In front of his crying daughter? No, it didn't come up."

"You're hopeless! Not my hero, after all."

"I told him to call if he needed anything," Erza said.

"Really? What exactly did you say?" Mirajane knew that Erza had a very vague way to her when she was faced with someone she liked. Her thoughts never translated to a clear message. It was always too subtle to mean anything.

"I said, "call my office if you have any concerns." And that I had an open door policy. Parents love hearing that."

Mira shook her head. "Hopeless. You should have said, "Call me." Period. And then, "I have an open legs policy just for you." Come on, Erza. You suck at this so bad."

Erza blushed. Mirajane had such a mouth on her sometimes. She wondered if that was how she got the infamous Laxus Dreyar, master of sleeping around, to settle down with her. "I'm the _PRINCIPAL._ I can't say stuff like that."

"If you wanna be the principal with a sex life, you gotta step it up." Mirajane shrugged. "First bell's in ten. Wear that burgundy lipstick for the opening ceremony, okay?"

Erza watched Mirajane walk away, half irritated, half amused. She was still a bit mortified by Mirajane's words. Thank God none of the children were loitering this part of the building.

Shaking her head, she walked back to her office, intent to change her lipstick.


	7. incalescence (eileen)

**note:** This is short, but I had to do it. I'm gonna edit this when im sober but im so emotional about my favorite canon single parent in FT. This is canonverse, feat. my life idol, Eileen Belserion, and her amazing offspring, Erza.

* * *

 **incalescence**

.

.

Before insanity existed a mother.

Eileen Belserion was three months pregnant when she was thrown into jail and subjected to the most dehumanizing acts of torture and humiliation, all at the command of her husband. In her dank cell with barely enough food to sustain a small animal, she magicked her child away, safe in her enchanted womb where no man could harm it. When the guards' laughter rang farther and farther from her prison and she would be by herself in the dark, she would caress her belly where the baby was no more, yet existed all the same. Eileen didn't even dare talk to her child. The sparse hope that she had, came from the notion that she would be doing more of that when she was free and healthy enough to bring her baby into the world.

She endured abysmal conditions for three years, her faith faltering some days but resilient despite all odds.

One day, her husband came to see her and she begged for her life and the child's. The General from the North all but spat on her. He must have thought her insane, for how could she claim to be pregnant for years? To prove it to her, he unsheathed his sword and moved to slice open her stomach.

Then became insanity.

Eileen Belserion transformed into a great beast and in a fit of rage, crushed her husband under her scaly feet until he was but a smear of blood and bones on the stone blocks lining her cell. As she flew over the skies, a million things ran through her mind: she'd killed, she was a monster, just like her husband had said she was, and she had nowhere to go.

 _._

 _._

 _Human, human, human._ For four hundred years, she rove the skies as a dragon with a putrid obsession for what she used to be until the dark wizard found her, gave her a flesh body again, but could not return the humanity she so zealously craved.

But now she was human again, and in lunacy, she allowed her child to finally progress with the intent to cast herself upon its body.

.

.

Just shy of fall, she felt contractions as she was gathering water. Labor happened much quicker than the local midwives used to talk about, and all Eileen could do was crawl to a great oak, pull up her skirt, spread her legs and push. Her arms gripped bark and the heels of her feet shoved against the thick roots of the tree. Her screams were impressive and she couldn't tell which part of her body hurt most; it seemed her whole body was one angry spot of pain. It was horrifying to see life come into the world. Still, she pushed until she was empty.

She stared at the tiny newborn covered in life fluids and forest detritus, and for a while, forgot all about the centuries of selfish ideology. Too tired to do much else, she reached for her baby and held her flush against her breast.

.

.

Getting rid of the afterbirth was tedious, painful and tiring. But after it was done, Eileen limped to the spring thankfully close by, and began the process of cleaning her child.

The water was blessedly warm. Eileen crossed her legs just by the bank and laid the baby on the knot of her aching legs. Scrap cloth she'd found in her knapsack was used to sop up water to wipe away what had crusted over the baby to reveal pink skin.

Eileen thought: newborns were ugly. Swollen from having squeezed out of a narrow orifice so they were splotchy and bloated. She'd seen and assisted births before and remembered her emotions to be more pleasant than this. Maybe if she was different from who she was now, she'd appreciate the little coo of the baby, the fuzzy whorl of red hair on her head, the tiny arms, the fatty chin, the scattering of freckles so like her own across the baby's nose.

Mechanically, she washed the baby. When she held the baby's hand to lift it and wipe the arm pit, tiny fingers closed around her larger ones. Eileen frowned, ignored that, and went about her task.

.

.

By nightfall, after feeding the baby and wiping her bottom clean, Eileen deemed her work done. She should probably get to the cave but she still had a few moments to enjoy the warm summer air before it got chilly. Back by the tree where she'd given birth, she held her child and finally savored the look of her. She was female, and that pleased Eileen. Now she could freely do what she'd fantasized for years. Here was a human body. Here was something she could enchant herself into. Here was her ticket back to normalcy.

The baby gurgled, cooed, and her lips spread into a smile. Eileen waited for a burp, but nothing came. It seemed her baby was just smiling. At her.

It was just for that, that Eileen trembled. All at once she felt her resolve shatter. Years of suffering she'd endured for this opportunity, and she would be damned to let it pass because her baby smiled.

This time, tiny fists waving in the air, as if it was reaching for the braid of red hair that swung down from Eileen's shoulders, accompanied the smile.

Eileen sobbed, damned cruel fate, and knew in that moment that she could not harm even a hair on her daughter's head.

.

.

For days, Eileen enjoyed what small moments of motherhood she allowed herself. She fed her daughter, watched her sleep snuggled into the warmth of her body, and delighted over every smile, every fart, every wail, every twitch.

Even so, she knew her resolve was a volatile one. She felt madness creep up on her when moments were quiet and she could imagine so vividly what she'd do to her helpless daughter, to poison her with magic to suit her deranged mother. Eileen was a smart woman and she knew what he had to do, even if it pained her to think that she'd spend the rest of her life never knowing how many ways her daughter could smile.

At least her daughter would be safe and would live a free life of her own.

.

.

Eileen stole a basket and linens from a residence in the village outside the forest and made a bed for her daughter. Before dawn could break, she crept to the church and left her bundled up daughter in its doorstep. She shook as she set the wicker basket on the ground, trying not to feel all the remorse that threatened to gush from every pore of her body. She'd already said her goodbyes, her prayers, her hopes, her apologies, so she wouldn't have to dawdle in the town.

Eileen took one last look at her daughter, held her tiny hand and shook it once more, and turned away before weakness could claim her. She rose from the steps all but shivering, choking on sobs she kept swallowing back, and fled.

As she walked away, she thought, _Oh, I never even gave her a name. I must be the most terrible mother in the world._


	8. keep me warm (mirajane)

**note:** This was suuuuper rushed, but I had to ride the wave of what little muse I had. I miss Laxus, and I miss this AU.

This is part three of Sandbox Bullies. For reference, the man being described ins Invel.

* * *

 **keep me warm**

.

.

At the ripe old age of 34, Laxus was still growing into adulthood. He couldn't exactly say he had _things_ quite figured out already, but where he was wasn't such a bad place, either. He had a stable job, a sturdy roof over his head, and a great relationship.

All things considered, it would have scored him a pretty decent grade in the adulting report card.

Maybe he felt way over his head sometimes. Like, now. Often it felt like startling out of a haze and finding himself confused at how advanced his life seemed to progress since he started dating Mirajane, and therefore came into Yukino's life as a sort of father figure. For sure, it was great. Laxus liked kids, and Yukino was especially special. But as any bachelor was prone to, he couldn't believe he had the chance to do some of the stuff he was doing, like looking up recipes for healthy, homemade chicken nuggets, or assembling an IKEA Busunge for his girlfriend's daughter. It wasn't a bad sort of disbelief. It just all felt kind of surreal.

Kind of like how he just filed a mental sticky note to remind Mirajane to find a pediatrician closer to home. The one she still brought Yukino to was two hours from where she lived, because she insisted that she couldn't trust anyone with Yukino aside from the grouchy, old doctor they've been seeing since Yukino was born. He still practiced in the town Mirajane left behind, so it was quite a drive just to get checked up for asthma medication refills or to get Yukino's shots updated. Laxus didn't really mind driving them to and from every time Yukino needed a check up, but for the sake of practicality, like maybe if Yukino ever got into an emergency like the last time she came down with a bad fever, maybe it was best to consider a new doctor.

The GPS sounded off on their arrival. Laxus parked the car and waited for Mira to get Yukino out of the car seat.

Laxus hefted the small, yellow backpack that Yukino stuffed coloring books and crayons in, and then followed the mother and daughter out of the parking lot. That is, until Mirajane stopped dead in her tracks, and gave quite a surprised gasp.

Mirajane looked stunned. Laxus thought she almost looked terrified. The man smoking a cigarette leaned back against the trunk of car, and stared back with an air of disregard that was chilling. He wore scrubs under his windbreaker, and he had the same nose and mouth as Yukino. It didn't take a genius to figure out that this was the father who had turned his back on Mirajane to continue his studies, despite the fact that she was carrying his child.

A jumpy Mirajane passed Yukino into Laxus' arms. She was too rattled to say anything, so she just let frozen feet carry her forward to meet the man who approached with not a care in the world. Laxus hung back enough that he couldn't hear their exchanged greetings, but near enough that he could see how no emotion moved the man's face despite coming face to face with the mother of his child after years. Mirajane never said much to Laxus about Yukinos father, just that he left her to continue his residency, and that he still lived in the city she left behind. Laxus never asked if they ever saw each other, or if the man offered any support for his daughter. Laxus had always just assumed that there had been none.

Shifting, so that he could hold Yukino more comfortably, Laxus watched Mirajane's entire posture stiffen as the man spoke. He didn't yell, but Laxus could tell that it was worse that way. The man seemed to be pressing every wrong button by the way Mirajane's body language got more and more defensive. The man's gaze flickered up to Yukino, then to Laxus.

Mirajane stepped into the man's line of sight and said something that made the stranger's lips flatten. Before he could get in another word, Mirajane turned her back on him and march back to where Laxus stood with Yukino.

Up close, Mirajane looked like a mess. Her eyes were glossed over and her face was pale. Laxus should have said something. He wanted to confirm what he already knew: that this was Yukino's father, and if Mira wanted him beat within an inch of his life just for putting that miserable look on her face. But something in the air prevented him from opening his mouth. He felt different from the brash man from his younger years. These days, there was a lot more of thinking involved before he ran his mouth.

In an almost desperate manner, Mirajane took Yukino from Laxus. She ignored her daughter's questions about the man ("Who was that, mama?", "Is he a doctor?") and avoided looking at her ex as she made a beeline to the hospital's entrance.

Laxus hastened to keep up with her pace.

* * *

In the reception area of the pediatrician's clinic, Yukino sat in her mother's lap, oblivious to how tightly Mirajane clung to her.

* * *

There was none of the light-hearted talk from earlier during the drive back home. Exhausted from the fight she put up during her shot, Yukino knocked out the moment she was strapped back into her car seat. While Laxus drove, he was pretty sure he was hearing Mirajane sniffle softly. Words still didn't seem right just yet, so he offered a reassuring squeeze on her knee.

When they got back to Mirajane's house, a re-energized Yukino asked to be taken out for sweets as a reward for her bravery against the needle.

Laxus could feel the fatigue from all the tension settle deep into his bones. He didn't know what to say, ofr if he even had the right for any input. Instead of forcing words he didn't have, he took Mirajane's hand after she shut the door, and pulled her in close enough so he could press his lips against her forehead.

"Talk to Yukino. I'll start dinner."

All that got out of Mira was a quiet sob.

He hated to see her so depressed. This was nothing like the Mirajane he knew, and he wished he was better equipped to comfort her. Laxus did what he knew, and kept himself steady, for her.

"Would you like me to leave, so you two can have some privacy?"

Mirajane shook her head. She leaned in closer, so she could breathe in the smell of him. "Stay, please. I'm going to need you later."

* * *

By the time Mirajane and Yukino came back downstairs, the stirfry Laxus cooked was already cold. While Mirajane looked like hell, a mess of swollen eyes and a red nose, Yukino couldn't have looked less bothered than she did.

Laxus said nothing, not for the lack of words this time, but because they didn't feel necessary.

Mirajane came to him, and he wrapped an arm around her shoulders.

"I hate to ask-" she began.

"Ask anyway."

"Can you take Yukino to the pastry shop? I'm- I don't want her to see me like this."

"When do you want us back?"

"Just give me at least five minutes by myself, so I can pull myself together."

* * *

At the cafe, Laxus ordered an Americano for himself, and an eclair for Yukino. He helped her up onto the tall bar stool and sat opposite from her.

"So," he started. Yukino gave him a questioning tilt of her head. Cute. But he shouldn't get distracted. "What did you and your mom talk about?"

Yukino took some time biting into her pastry. Some custard stained the corner of her lips, and absentmindedly, Laxus wicked it away with a napkin.

"She said that the man from this morning was my buy-logigal father, and that he chose not to be in my life. And that if I had any questions, I can always ask her. But she was crying really bad, so I didn't."

"That's it?" Laxus prompted.

"Mama cried _a lot_."

That tore at Laxus' heart. "Did he say something bad to her?"

"Mama didn't say." Yukino looked up at her former teacher with eyes so wide and blue, Laxus felt like he would drown. "Why didn't that man want to be my dad? Did I do something wrong?"

 _Ah,_ Laxus thought. _What's the proper thing to say?_ Sure, Laxus had an opinion or two, but he couldn't just mouth off. Not to Yukino, who was bound to get confused. Shit, he needed to consult Mira. Actually, he needed a damn script.

"I'm sure he had his reasons," Laxus said carefully. Whatever those reasons were, they weren't anything Laxus could agree with. Not if they meant turning his back on such a perfect mother and daughter. "I can't judge him for those reasons, because I'm not involved. But I do know that he's missing out, because you're the greatest kid I know."

Yukino fixed her gaze on him for a while, as if she was calculating if she should ask more questions or not. But before the nervous bead of sweat could roll down Laxus' neck, Yukino smiled. "Okay!" She seemed content enough, or so Laxus thought, until she opened her mouth again.

"Laxus? Do _you_ want to be my dad? All my friends have dads."

Laxus choked on the coffee he'd just began to sip. "Ah, that's a little complicated." He cleared his throat to dislodge the bitter swill that went down the wrong pipe. "You know what, I'll talk to your mom about that, and I'll see what I can do. But hey, you know I love you, right?"

Yukino's grin was blinding. "Right!"

Laxus finished the rest of his coffee, mostly out of fear that he would be asked more questions he wouldn't or couldn't answer. It took Yukino two seconds to stuff the rest of her eclair into her mouth as soon as she saw Laxus was done.

"What do you say we go buy your mom some flowers? Would that make her feel better?" Laxus asked as he stood, before helping Yukino down off the bar stool.

As soon as she was on the ground, Yukino offered her hand for Laxus to hold, so naturally, it made Laxus' heart swell just a little bit more. There wasn't anything like Yukino trusting him so explicitly that made Laxus want to do something crazy, like ask Mirajane to marry him already just so Yukino could have the father she wanted.

"Yeah! Or maybe we can get her a tomato plant for the garden instead."

"Whatever you like." Laxus just wanted to get back already and finish up dinner, so he could talk to Mirajane about being his wife.


End file.
